"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector" (Matthew 18:15-17).
This might be the most underpracticed text in the Bible.
1. We don't confront privately (it's two uncomfortable).
2. Then we let everyone know about the problem.
3. Then we refuse to practice church discipline.
Ouch, we are in trouble here! Ultimately, we need to be more worried about the sinner then the sin we've experienced. Being concerned about the sinner means doing the hard work of talking privately with the person who has wronged us as well as taking steps toward church discipline if the wrong is not addressed by that individual.
If a person does not listen, we are to treat him or her as a pagan or tax collector. If we follow Christ's example, that's not a terrifically bad way to treat a person. So if someone sins against you, address it. And if the individual cannot see it, address it with a larger group and still a larger group. Then if all else fails, invite him or her to dinner (that's how Christ treated tax collectors!).
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