Just in Case You Missed It the First Time

Matthew 6:14,15

I repeat myself. Yup, sorry, I try not to but it (well) happens. One of my favorite friendships was with a girl who couldn't remember things. We were a perfect pair. Sometimes mid-conversation, we would say, "Wait! Haven't we had this conversation before?"

The interesting thing about repetition is that it reveals something about an individual. I might not learn anything new when I've heard the same story three times, but I have learned something new about what the person values.

So here's the deal: Jesus repeats himself. In Matthew 6:12 he says, "Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12). Then just a couple verses later he says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, you Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14,15).

It's the same story. God forgives us because we have forgiven others. This is pretty hard to understand because so much of the gospel seems focused on God initiating a relationship with us. For example, Jesus later said, "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name" (John 15:16). And Paul said, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

So why doesn't it read "Forgive because you have been forgiven" instead of "Forgive so you can be forgiven"? We are (naturally) quite nervous about conditions. How could the God of unconditional love create a condition for forgiveness? Maybe it is because we confuse God's unconditional love with unconditional license.

My sister loves her toddler daughter deeply, but when her daughter decided to try to play right next to the road, my sister grabbed her and wouldn't let her go. Her daughter screamed, cried, and wept--you would have thought the world had just come to a crashing end. By momentarily circumventing her daughter's will, she showed her love for her daughter.

What if God shows us his love by commanding forgiveness? What if forgiveness is so fundamental to the universe that God had to put a big exclamation marks next to it? It's impossible for God to forgive you your sins (!!) if you cannot forgive others their sins (!!). Grace is not just a drink you enjoy by yourself. Grace is something that its very nature spills out into the lives of those around you. It's impossible to experience God's forgiveness alone; it must be shared.

I've mentioned this before several time (see here now I go repeating myself). This forgiveness business is the impossible business of God's kingdom. You have been sinned against. You have been hurt. You have been wronged. You do deserve better--but still you must forgive.

The person you choose to forgive might not ever notice that you have forgiven her. She might go around her life acting like the wound she left you with never happened. In fact, she might not even realize how deeply she cut you. You still must forgive.

So then how do we do it? It begins with the simple, "Lord, I choose to forgive _________." Then the prayer must be repeated and repeated and repeated. We also might claim God's promise, "What is impossible with men is possible with God" (Luke 18:27).

It also means that we choose to plan blessings for the person who has hurt us. Even as we struggle with our bitterness for that person, we start to move toward him with kindness.

People like to joke about what the language of heaven will be like. Will it be Hebrew? English? Spanish? Thai? I think it will be the language of forgiveness. We're learning the first syllables here on earth.